Behaviour Guidelines and what to do about issues:
No touching without consent. This applies to all people of all genders. It includes playful arse touching, hand touching, face touching and other intimate gestures. You can touch someone on the outside of the arm, or on the top of their shoulders if you need to get their attention or show support. Otherwise, get permission to touch first.
Don't ask for people's phone numbers. It puts them in an awkward position of saying no if they don't want to give out their personal information. Feel free to offer your phone number to them instead. It works well accompanied with "I'm enjoying talking to you, if you'd like to catch up outside the group here is my number feel free to give me a call."
Don't judge, bitch or gossip. Other people's business is their own. Many people are very private and don't want to be pushed to talk. Everyone is very different and has different opinions on pretty much everything. Our members come from every walk of life, every background but we are all people who deserve respect.
Slut-shaming (of either gender) is not ok. While this group is not a hook-up group many of our members have had intimate relationships with each other - this is their business, not anyone else's. So long as it's consensual and done within the guidelines of the group it's ok and entirely their choice. We're all here together so let's not make it awkward.
Do not persist in making someone uncomfortable when they have asked you to stop. If someone asks you to stop a behaviour or to stop asking them/talking to them about a particular topic and lets you know that you are making them uncomfortable, you need to stop.
PRIVATE EVENTS AND BANNED MEMBERS: If people are evicted from the group I will not announce their removal to the group, this means that you might not know who is banned and who is not. So if a person is asking you where the Spider Pigs event will be held - please don’t tell them, you can redirect them to the meetup or facebook pages where the locations are publicised. If they don’t have access to these pages they can request them themselves. As of now, the group settings are private so only members can see the event details.
BANNING MEMBERS: People are often surprised to know that I do ban members. It takes a fair amount for me to ban someone and usually there are stages to a removal process that involve mediation and addressing the behaviours except in circumstances where I believe the person in question to present deliberate physical or emotional threat to a group member - in these instances I just ban them and send them a letter of explanation.
WARNING SYSTEM: As of this month the warning system has changed, I will no longer question both parties. If you have more than one complaint made against you I will issue you with your first warning. I will assume that all complaints are legitimate because: it doesn’t matter what your side of the story is, if you have made someone uncomfortable that behaviour needs addressing and if your actions are putting the integrity and safety of our group at risk you will have the opportunity to amend the situation and address it directly with me. If your behaviour does not change you will not get a second warning you will simply be removed.
WHO CAN DELIVER WARNINGS & EVICTIONS: All Alpha Pigs are able to issue warnings. Evictions will be made as a committee decision between myself and the other Alpha Pigs. Evictions made at the venues will be done by two Alpha Pigs and followed up in writing.
COMPLAINTS: All members have the right to say when they are uncomfortable to the person at the time of the discomfort but also to report it to myself or another Alpha Pig after the event. It is always better to say something at the time of the event so that we can resolve the situation on the spot - most people are good people and mediation is usually very effective.
INCIDENT REPORTS are available for anyone to fill out at the following link. We recommend you do this to keep an official track of issues if you think the incident warrants it.
RSA & the LAW: all our events are bound by the licenses and legal restrictions placed on the venue in which the event is hosted. This means the bar staff have the right to refuse entry, to stop serving you drinks and have the ultimate right to remove you from the venue. We also have to abide by their laws (ie don’t BYO unless it’s a BYO venue).
WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE IS BITCHING: If someone is engaging in conversation that is mean, belittling, judgemental or aggressive in any way you can say to that person that the conversation topic is not appropriate for the Spider Pigs and if it is a legitimate complaint they can file an incident report, talk to an alpha pig or continue the conversation outside the group.
MARRIED OR SINGLE PEOPLE:
At Spider Pigs: All people are welcome in the Spider Pigs, it is not a hookup group and hooking up at the events is discouraged. If you meet someone you like and want to hook up with ask them if they’d like to see you outside the Spider Pigs group and catch up with them the next day or at another time.
At Sen Events (Singles Events Newcastle): these events are designed for single people, or at the very least people who are available - this does not mean that married people by default are banned because every relationship has different rules and many people in Newcastle are polyamorous so they can be married AND available. HOWEVER, it is required that people who are married don’t mislead anyone, they must say they are married and specify that they are in an open or non-monogamous arrangement so that the people they are potentially dating from a Sen Event are given the choice to participate in that arrangement or not. Consent and integrity is key in all things.
SEN EVENTS WINGLEADERS: The people who help as leaders at Sen Events are not necessarily paid staff, nor are they necessarily single or taken. Wingleaders can be single and there to mingle the same as everyone else. The difference is that they are also really great at helping people feel comfortable, are there as a support network, and can be used as a secondary point of contact. They are just as entitled to meet their special someone or find someone to date out of these events as everyone else. They do not have access to your personal information and they are also bound by the rules of the event, same as everyone else.
SPIDER PIGS ALPHA PIGS: These are a handful of people, listed as Event Organisers, who have attended many events, are very well known to myself and the other Spider Pigs and have offered to help because they love the group and what it does. Alpha Pigs become Alpha Pigs by first coming along a lot over a period of over six months, then by offering their help to me, then by going through a basic induction and approval on the site.